things that make my day

Today, I started choking on a Life Saver. Instead of being scared I just started laughing at the irony. MLIA
Today, it was really cold. While shivering at my school's lockers with my friends, I said, "They should put a heater in the sky." My friend politely pointed out to me that this would be the sun. MLIA
Today, during the 6 o'clock morning news, one of the reporters cheerily said to sit back, eat a banana, and a bowl of Special K. Not only had I just finished a bowl of Special K, but I was in the act of peeling a banana. I am now very suspicious of my local news team. MLIA.
While packing in preparation for a move, I found an old box from when we moved last time. Inside it, above everything else, was a $20 bill taped to the top of something, and a note in my handwriting - "Twenty bucks says you forget all about me until you move again." I just lost a bet to myself from five years ago. MLIA
Today, I saw a commercial for the Snuggie. I thought it was stupid idea but I couldn't change the channel because I was under a blanket and I didn't want my arms to get cold. MLIAToday, I was thinking about the expression 'revenge is a dish best served cold'. Then I considered that 'revenge is sweet'. I've come to the conclusion that revenge is ice cream. MLIA
Today, I was trying to telepathically communicate with my teacher in class. He didnt look at me the whole time I was calling out 'sir' loudly in my head, then I thought I'd lie and tell him I slept with his wife, he glanced at me from the corner of his eye. I know he can hear me. MLIA
Today, my boyfriend asked me what I was thinking. I told him I was considering healthcare plans. In reality, I was wondering what it would be like to be an octopus. It would be awesome. MLIA.
Today, my mom called me a "son of a bitch". I laughed at the irony. She didn't get it. MLIAToday, a friend and I had a discussion about dinosaurs and came to the conclusion that t-rexs were only angry and aggressive because their arms were too short to hug one another. MLIA.
Today, I noticed that there was a warning on my bag of marshmallows: "choke hazard: eat only one at a time." Feeling rebellious, I stuffed two marshmallows into my mouth at once. I nearly choked. MLIA.
Today, our guest speaker at school gave out pens that "never write lies". I decided to test it out and wrote "2+2=". As I was writing "5", the pen stopped working. MLIA
Today, I read an FML about a someone who was filmed, drunk, climbing into her wardrobe screaming "I wanna go to Narnia!" I've done that sober. I don't see a problem. Who doesn't wanna go to Narnia? MLIA.
Today I joined a new website and used the word "penis" as my password. The website said my password was too short. MLIA